Summer Lessons

Some of the greatest lessons I learned from the summer:

-Suffering for God is a privilege and gift from Him.
"For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake" (Phil. 1:29)
Every bit of suffering only helps you develop endurance which develops character which develops HOPE.


-Man needs a helper.
Stop doing things alone and thinking that you don't need other people's help. Do everything with a partner. Whether it be Christ or a friend, man's not meant to be an island.


-There is a very real spiritual battle going on and we need to be armed with God's Word.
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12).
"For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:4).


-"Take the good, drop the bad."
Jesus Christ is the Truth (John 14:6a). Honestly, there is no absolute truth in this world except the one spoken by God. Every Christian or theological book I've read carries some flaw in it. So, it's important to have discernment by the Spirit in order to separate the truth from the lies.


-It's only when you have nothing that you realize you have Everything.
You can't live for God without making sacrifices.
"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:24-25).
"You must die in order to live."
"You must give up everything in order to keep everything."
"You must become a servant in order to become great."
^All of that sounds so backwards, right? It certainly seems so but when you understand the Truth of God and have faith in it, it all starts to make a great deal of sense.
Faith transformed into action... crucial, dude.


-If you honestly want to achieve dunking a basketball within a summer, don't snap your ankle so early in the game!!!
Hahahaha.


How does all this impact me?
As the school year begins, I hope to share all these lessons with others. I hope God will use me to encourage the body of Christ, boldly and genuinely share my faith with the unbelieving, and continue to point people in the direction of the saving cross.

"Hey... I wanted to know... why do you continue to praise God everyday no matter what happens on any given day?"

***Points to the beautiful cross***

Monkey See Monkey Do

My blogged problem tonight is Insomnia. This confession's long overdue and I hope this entry's nothing like the confession I make to God. You are my only Savior from all my small giants.




Monkeys Suck
My body sees my mind sickly drawn to all the worries of my future and my body decides to do whatever it sees. If my mind decides not to sleep, my body follows suit.
Sometimes, I wish I had a remote control for body... sometimes it's like an inoperable television set that won't obey me at my every convenience.

If "sleep is for the weak," then why am I not sleeping?
I haven't slept very well during the past 8 months of my life and I have a hint as to why.
It's because this bible verse is missing in my life- "casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).
Lying awake at 3am on your bed staring down the ceiling and counting the sheep that have tried to jump over the fence but died trying is not the best way to live.

Do not be fooled, Reader. My anxieties have not gone away and it's not because God hasn't cared for me. So, the verse's absence in my life is in no way God's fault.
It has to do with me- "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you" (1 Peter 5:6).

My realization: I don't trust God enough to know that my future is securely set in His graces.

Appalling revelations are scary.
This one is nothing short of just that.


Has gone off to pray,
Brendon

In the bible: What's important to you?

"Nothing shall induce me to attempt to interpret the prophecies. By God's grace I will be content to expound the gospel. I believe it to be one of the most fatal devices of Satan to turn aside useful gospel ministers from their proper work into idle speculations on the number of the beast and the meaning of the little horn. The prophecies will interpret themselves by their fulfillment, but no expositor has yet arisen who has been able to do it" (Spurgeon).

The gospel matters much to me. It matters so much that I do not dwell on other things anywhere as much as I dwell on the gospel. We must be utterly satisfied by the gospel for that is where the message of salvation lies.


Reminder to self,
Brendon

My love/hate marriage with two great wives (Part 1/2: Infidelity)

My confession is that one of the greatest sins I deal with is infidelity. Or, at least, my heart will go through many moments of unfaithful desires.
Let me explain...

My explanation
I wake up every morning feeling a little trapped in my life and I've figured out why over time. It's not that I don't love Christ (He's the love o' my life) or I don't love church (it's my favorite place to be).
It's the fact that I look to my left and there is Korean Campus Ministry (KCM), the xtian fellowship I'm passionately involved with at school.
And, I look to my right and there is the Church of Philippi, the church I've been attending and falling in love with.
But, I have to wonder how I ended up with not one but two wives and why do I feel like the 40-year old husband who's being choked to death by marriage in his life? All I want is a little breathing space from "churchy stuff" and it's making me sick inside and I hate that I sometimes sinfully think like this.

My friend in Houston, TX right now (God bless her heart) is selling books door-to-door. She called me earlier this evening and we had the most honest and fun conversation ever.
One of the things we talked about was motivation. All her book-selling co-workers are these religiously dedicated hearts would walk on burning coals and cross deserts if that meant achieving their life goals.
That's how dedicated they are to doing something.
They have this desire to not be ordinary in life.

I think I've lost that motivation in my life right now. My life has been officially CHURCHed. Everything I do is "churchy" and the only place I know life is at church, on the way to church, back to church, or at school doing church stuff. I love KCM. I love Philippi. If you know me, you know just how much I love those two places.
But, when did I start feeling trapped in a "Christian dungeon" and is it okay to feel trapped and want a little break from "churchy stuff"?

My Savior
To my relief, and my friend's too, I believe it is.
I see Jesus Christ working in my life to remind me that He exists outside of "churchy" things and it's OK to take a break. Thanks for lovingly teaching me this, God. Why are we (humans) so blind sometimes?

Refreshing Realization
What I finally said to my good friend in Houston about our Christian bubble:
"I think people find themselves in a bad place when the only Jesus they experience and see is at church and with Christian-related things. When we stop finding Jesus in the world outside of church, it makes us sick because we love Jesus that much. We want Him everywhere (not only in church). This knot we're in is really bad because it cuts us off from relating to the world in a lot of ways and also relaying Jesus' message to where people need to hear about Him."

Her kindred spirited reply:
"I totally get you. Don't ditch KCM or Philippi, but you need something outside of this.
God is everywhere. He's not just at KCM or Philippi."

I have not heard sweeter words than this during the past several months. I LOVE kcm and philippi, but I need to venture more outside of this small bubble.

God is everywhere in everything~~~
Before my friend headed to Houston, she stopped in Nashville, Tennessee for a book-selling training session. In Nashville, she talked with other people about how God has to do with the most random things.
How does God have to do with someone's nursing occupation?
How does God have to do with dancing?
How does God have to do with Iraq?

God is relevant everywhere you go. Not just at church. He has to do with everything one way or another. It's brilliantly amazing.

On one hand, I'm finally understanding the root of all my immature hatred for KCM and Philippi. On the other hand, I'm even more encouraged to love all the people I meet in my life, at KCM and Philippi first, and then anywhere else after that.
The apostle Paul first started loving people and sharing Christ with the Jews at synagogues, and then he deepened his ministry by extending himself to non-Jews in the city areas.

Apology to You/you.
World, I'm sorry for not having reached out to you in deep and genuine ways outside of church.
Church, I'm sorry for loving you and hating you all at once and feeling tempted to ditch you and spend time solely with the world.
God, I need You to help me balance loving members in the church and extending this love to others in this world.
Reader, I'm sorry you had to hear me ramble about this for so long but I needed this.


God genuinely loves you,
Brendon


Singing 2 Blocks Down the Road
All of my life is to sing the new song I've been given, Jesus Christ.
I may sing it in a major or minor key.
The tempo may be allegro or larghetto (fast or slow).
I may play various instruments like the clarinet or guitar.
There may be no one watching or a world watching.
But, my new song is always Him.

I desire to sing this new song in a new area.
I've been singing Him on the same street corner for how long?
Everyday, it's the same people walking by me, the same stores behind me, and the same scene for me.

Well, I'm moving 2 blocks down the road and I'll be singing Christ there.
I need a new scene and it's something to keep me sane and make me remember that
Jesus... Well, you are frankly everywhere to me.

"Sing to the Lord a new song,
his praise from the end of the earth,
you who go down to the sea, and all that fills it,
the coastlands and their inhabitants"
(Isaiah 42:10 esv).

Basketball & Christianity (Quiet Time)

I love Jesus Christ.
I love basketball.

Jesus Christ + basketball = ?????

Connecting the two only makes sense to me... so by what I write, I hope you understand what it means to live for Jesus and not sit around watching other Christians worship without ever getting to know who Jesus Christ is.

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only..."
(James 1:22a).

• Quiet time [kwahy-it tahym] noun.
  This is a regular (usually daily) one-on-one experience between a Christian and God. The time is usually spent in a quiet place of uninterrupted solitude.
  Activities include praying (talking and listening to God), reading the Bible, and appreciating God's presence.

Quiet time is essential to being a Christian rather than a spectator. Let me explain.
If Christianity is like basketball, then a Christian needs to be a basketball player. You can go to basketball games, watch professionals play basketball, and root for them and say you're on their team. In this way, you know how others play basketball.

But, can you play basketball? If you've never picked up a basketball and trying dribbling it, shooting, and passing it, can you call yourself a basketball player?
In the same way, if we never have quiet time, never read the bible, never pray, and never experience God on our own time, can we call ourselves Christians?

Most Christians are simply "basketball fans." They appreciate the sport, they go to church because it's fun to watch a praise team or hear a great sermon, and they like to feel good about themselves. But, God calls us to be basketball players, not just fans. This is why it's so important to have quiet time. We need to become basketball players who are involved in the game. We need to become Christians who are involved in the world.

Take my word for it. You don't understand the true joy of playing basketball until you've played it yourself. It's an entirely enjoyable experience. The feel of the rubber ball in your hands, the funky beat of the basketball against a cement floor, the challenge of putting an orange in a circle so it falls through something called a "hoop" so it makes a sound that goes "swish," and the firsthand appreciation of a sport that has brought joy to millions of people.

If basketball's brought momentary joy to millions of people, and Jesus Christ brings eternal joy to anyone who will accept him, then...


I think you're thinking what I'm thinking now.

Cold Feet: My mid-college crisis

I feel the need to get out of these following places in my life:
College Park, Maryland
The Korean American Christian bubble (all my friends are either KA or xtian)
A narrow-minded second generational view of how the world works.
Satisfying myself with whatever I can eat, mind-draining teleprograms, and daydreaming.
Prideful sense of self-righteousness by which I cannot explain... why?
Desensitization to human suffering.
A life-ruining addiction that is as pleasurable as it is disgusting to me.
AMERICA as I know it...

A lot has changed since high school. I know I'm being pessimistic right now and these are the types of entries you look back on and wonder what was I thinking? I didn't know I could sound so retired...
But, honestly... Life's kind of scary.

• Do I feel cut out for being my school campus ministry's VP? Not at all.
  
• I feel like an alien at church sometimes. The only times I "feel" I fit in are when I'm serving. Shouldn't I feel comfortable at church without "having to serve"?
  
• Losing touch with my non-xtian friends in my life is miserable. If I lose them all, then this Christian bubble will have turned into a Christian dungeon. What have I done?
  
• I have more bible knowledge than I know what to do with it! What can I do with it to help society?
  
• My college education?! Sociology? Government & politics? Secondary education? Go to seminary? But when? Where can I get a grip on things and figure out what to do?
  

In the end, this is half of a complaint to God that I don't deserve to make. But, you know what? Hiding your fears is doing an injustice to God because that says He isn't enough to care about you or take care of your problems.
And, the other half is a serious prayer request that I have for you if you read this...
What am I doing with my life and where do I draw the line between being satisfied with where I am and taking a risk by starting a new adventure in an entirely new place?


Maybe it's cold feet,
Brendon

P.S.- Jesus... if it wasn't for You living in me (Gal. 2:20), I'd be a goner by now. Thank You.

P.P.S.- Maybe this is what happens when you take one of my greatest joys (running) away from me for 6 weeks. I go BALLISTIC and SCREAM for deliverance. Hahaha. I laugh in the face of fear.

Grace: Its remedy abused... its design forgotten...

So, a pastoral friend of mine blogs and I found this on his site. He found it from a book so I figure that if I rip it from his blog when he ripped it from a book, then I should be okay in doing so. =D

I find the message of this quote to be highly profound and also appropriate for our times.
Consider how many of us desire to "feel forgiven" and not want to give anything in return. Don't get me wrong- the very idea of grace is to accept God's forgiveness as a free gift. But, what type of gratitude do we show God when we aimlessly live our lives as if nothing happened and as if salvation was only a meal ticket, not an opportunity to live for a beautiful and perfect God?

“You must understand this: the flesh weakens conviction by separating the remedy of grace from the design of grace. The Scriptures teach nothing more clearly than that God’s design in showing mercy is to make us holy people (Titus 2:11-12). But God also provides a remedy for our lapses: his loving pardon gives us peace, so that we know that if we do sin, ‘we also have one who speaks to the Father in our defense’. The flesh works to make you forget the design (that you are saved to be holy) and think only of the remedy (if you sin, you’ll be forgiven). It preaches a half gospel (a twisted gospel) to us: ‘Go ahead and indulge - it’s already paid for’. Those who fall prey to such deception are evidently many, since the Scripture go to such lengths to condemn it (Romans 3:3-8; 6:1-4; Jude 4)”


The truth arrests me in my moment of sin and then sets me free in a life of grace,
Brendon