My blogged problem tonight is Insomnia. This confession's long overdue and I hope this entry's nothing like the confession I make to God. You are my only Savior from all my small giants.
Monkeys Suck
My body sees my mind sickly drawn to all the worries of my future and my body decides to do whatever it sees. If my mind decides not to sleep, my body follows suit.
Sometimes, I wish I had a remote control for body... sometimes it's like an inoperable television set that won't obey me at my every convenience.
If "sleep is for the weak," then why am I not sleeping?
I haven't slept very well during the past 8 months of my life and I have a hint as to why.
It's because this bible verse is missing in my life- "casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).
Lying awake at 3am on your bed staring down the ceiling and counting the sheep that have tried to jump over the fence but died trying is not the best way to live.
Do not be fooled, Reader. My anxieties have not gone away and it's not because God hasn't cared for me. So, the verse's absence in my life is in no way God's fault.
It has to do with me- "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you" (1 Peter 5:6).
My realization: I don't trust God enough to know that my future is securely set in His graces.
Appalling revelations are scary.
This one is nothing short of just that.
Has gone off to pray,
Brendon
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